Tuesday, 25 September 2012

The Hierarchy of the Red Trouser

So this post is a bit of a joke. I’ve been meaning to write it for a while and with the influx of new freshers it is nice to see that the red trouser is still alive and well in the sunny streets of St Andrews. (I say sunny for alliteration. It is, in fact, pissing it down here at the moment, I spent today wearing sheepskin mittens and cashmere.) I am aware that this post will be quite St Andrews orientated, but the coloured trouser has had a popular few years infiltrating both male and female fashion, no longer being exclusively used for ‘peacocking.’ And so I wanted to write a tongue-in-cheek post on it, because the whole red trouser thing fascinates me. So here goes...

Now the red trouser is a sacred item in St Andrews. Just like the undergraduate gowns, so coloured to spot the drunken students stumbling along the pier, the red trouser acts as a beacon whilst you stroll down Market Street. That first day you step out of the door in scarlet trews marks an important step in your life. The shade and fit are of the utmost importance. Get it wrong and your place in society could be threatened. But get it right and the Clay Pigeon society will welcome you with open arms.

Firstly the fit should always be straight legged, your classic chino fitting. None of these carrot or peg legged fittings, or, god forbid, skinnies. They should be relatively loose and comfortable. A tight pair of red trousers scream hipster. And as partial to a hipster look as I am the red trouser should not be used in such a manner.

However, the shade is perhaps the most crucial.

The red should never be bright or garish. The rich pinky red serves as a signal that you can afford a really good pair of trousers. Anything too bright is too H&M and we just can’t deal with that darling.

A pink-hued shade is important as, through wash and wear, the colour will inevitably fade. Which leads us onto the next colour of the Red Trouser Hierarchy.

A pink trouser demonstrates a flamboyant nature. As it is also a rare colour on the high street it screams ‘Yes. I can afford Gant and Ralph Lauren. Look at me!’

The deep salmon pink takes a higher step. It takes a secure man to wear a pair of pink trousers. And that is the message he wishes to get across. The pink trouser perfectly complements your chosen shade of tweed as well as the classic navy blazer. I personally love a good pink trouser if only because pink is a great colour and any man who chooses to match his breeches with his cheeks gets my vote.

Though the red trousers are most often cotton, cords must get a look in when discussing this colour. I occasionally attend certain socials where coloured trousers are de rigeur and cords are the favoured variety. Whether wine-hued or practically garish a good pair of corduroys hold a more intense colour than chinos. Though they do have an air of the older gentleman about them. I guess it just depends on whether you want to dress your age or not...

Now as with all laws and structures there has to be an anomaly. Only today I saw two dashing young men both sporting grass green chinos, or what about the elderly gentleman in the burnt orange cords? (They were a very beautiful pair of cords.) However I feel the red trouser shall forever reign supreme on the streets in St Andrews. If only to spot their 'gazebo-ed' owners schweffing on the freshers in the Bop...

I hope you are all having a great start to the week and that the weather is better than it currently is in Fife!


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